Well, that was ugly

I guess this was inevitable, as we have had many good rides in a row, but today's lesson was a complete disaster.  But it started out so well.  It was a beautiful morning, not too hot and with a nice breeze.  Fawkes and I warmed up really well with some nice trot work and a couple good canter transitions.

Starting out over fences was also lovely.  It was pretty much the same set up as before - a grid with two one strides, single fences on the diagonal and a single fence on the other long side.  Trainer R put flowers on the last jump of the grid and while Fawkes hesitated slightly through the first time, he was going well after that.  For the single fences he was cantering nicely and being brave.  The one single fence on the long side has been our bete noire but it was a non-issue today.   We had some straightness issues, but overall is was really great.

Flower grid

Calm over the single, and some lovely jumping ahead

And then the wheels came off the bus.  A lady was walking her dog down the street as we cantered around the corner to the diaganol and Fawkes spooked hard.  We cantered a circle, he seemed to calm down and we jumped the fence on the diagonal as planned, if a little frantic

Then we went back to trot into the grid.  Fawkes did the first two jumps but dropped his shoulder and spun out left at the last one.  It was a dirty stop, I was tilting a little forward (obviously, although it didn't feel like it at the time), and I came off over his right side.  "Luckily", I landed on the jump standard base with my right thigh.  Much better than my head or shin, but I have a nice hematoma that will likely develop into a lovely bruise.  Fawkes trotted two steps away and started grazing.

Trainer R's theory is that once Fawkes' brain goes to the Fear Place, he has a really hard time coming back and therefore even though the flower jump wasn't where he spooked originally, once he is freaked out, he will start reacting to everything.  Additionally, she thinks it makes me ride a little differently.  She said it wasn't even anything obvious to her, but she thinks it is either that or he somehow associates me with the fear.  Either way, we need to figure it out and find a way to work through it because we needs to learn to regain his brain after something scares him.

Anyways, I was fine after the fall except for having a bit of breath knocked out of me and I clambered back on.  We tried to drop the last fence and get back through the grid but Fawkes was not settling and was being wildly inconsistent.  I was able to get him through several times, but he also ditched out again several times.  R was getting pissed at Fawkes, which basically never happens, and was not letting me take a break since she wanted him to not stop until he did it correctly.  While I understand that, my lung capacity did not and eventually I tried to inhale....and just couldn't.  Then I started to panic and freak out a little.  Not being able to breathe will do that to you.  I hopped off, sounding like a raspy old smoker.

Luckily, R2 was there and got on.  She walked Fawkes around a couple minutes and he seemed to settle some.  I think between her being not me and also being, you know, a fantastic professional rider it was the right call even if I had been able to continue.  J had stopped taking pictures at this point - apparently "watching you get hurled to the ground" upset him a bit and he was worried the picture taking was messing up Fawkes worse.  Not true, but sweet.

R dropped the last fence just to poles, then a cross rail and R2 got Fawkes through uneventfully several times so we called it a day.  Big sigh.  I hate the idea that I am somehow contributing to my horse's confidence issues but I also relieved and happy there are pros around to bail me out.