Progress, even just a little

Thank you for all the support on my last post.  It was much appreciated since almost everyone at my barn was like, "it ended fine, why are you upset?"  They mean well, they just genuinely didn't understand.  Interesting contrast there.

I took your great advice and took all the pressure off for a few days.  Monday we went on a "trail ride."  Since we are on VS lock down and can't leave the property, I tacked him up and just walked around on a loose rein, socializing.  Was able to geek out with a fellow rider over Portal (I may sing Still Alive in the shower) and the October Daye series of fantasy novels, which I really want to read more of.  Fawkes was a bit cranky at the start and I think meandering around while not asking for anything was good for his brain too.  He really started walking out instead of his normal slow turtle walk.  Then I groomed him and put him away, no muss, no fuss.  Just a nice evening with friends, because my horse is definitely my friend.

The barn crew recently re-wrote the stall plates and apparently renamed
my horse "Flakes."  Love it.

My trainer and I decided to leave my lesson on for tonight, with the option to cancel if I wasn't feeling it.  It was a beautiful sunny 83 degrees out and we don't have much of that left, so I opted to do an easy jumping lesson.  Trainer R had to leave so I got to ride with her daughter, R2, which was great.  R2 is the most laid back horse trainer I have ever met.  She knows her shit and is excellent at helping you while also just letting you do your thing.  While warming up, Fawkes was very spooky in the corners, who knows what monsters he thought he saw.  There was a hunter course set up (lines along the rail and singles on the diagonal) so we did almost the whole thing as poles, then moved them up to low verticals and cross rails.

End of summer sunflowers

Fawkes was being very good at listening.  And we had a nice confidence breakthrough moment.  We trotted up to a vertical and I got tense and defensive since there was a gate next to it he had been giving the hairy eyeball.  He had every excuse to stop since he hates to jump when I am tense, but he just ignored me and jumped it nicely.

Oh.

I guess we are ok.

He even did the line in 5 and jumped out the other side just fine.

Then I relaxed and just enjoyed the rest of the lesson.  Trusted him to go over everything - which he did.  He was still strangely spooky in the corners but in a weird way that was a good thing because he didn't carry that spook to the jumps.    Fawkes was happy, I was happy, exactly what we needed.

While I am sure my barn funk isn't entirely over, it has been great to just reconnect with the good parts of riding and horse ownership.

Duh, this face draws you back.  Now, cookie.