Deep Thoughts

Had a pretty in depth conversation with my trainer last week about Fawkes and thought it might be good to get it all down for future reference.

And back to New Zealand.  This is Milford Sound.  

She knows I have vacillated extensively on the amount of money I am spending, what our actual goals are, and if this horse and I even have a future.  So here a a few things that came out of our talk:

1. Fawkes has been making really good progress in training.  We were supposed to start in Oct, but we spent a lot of Oct and part of Nov trying to make sure his back would be ok so training really started in late Nov which means we are about 3 months in.  
2. While it is a lot of money, unless something changes with my work situation (always a possibility), I can afford this for at least 3-4 more months in which time trainer expects him to be a solid, reliable citizen over fences. And even thinks she might have a student identified to start half leasing him then.
• I am not going to lie, I have doubts about his jumping reliability but she is doing great things with him so I want to be open minded.



Aoraki Mt Cook.  I could live there

3. I sometimes lament that Fawkes and I aren't very bonded and wonder what is wrong with me or him or us.  Trainer R is of the opinion that Fawkes is just not that kind of horse.  I guess if he were human we might call him introverted.  He likes people and has manners, but he isn't exactly touchy feely, definitely doesn't snuggle, and doesn't seem to show much concern or emotion in general.  That might just be who he is and not a reflection on our relationship.
4. Taking all emotion out of it and trying to be very realistic, I don't think this horse would do well on the market.  He is under 16 hands tall, a cribber, has intermittent back issues, and has a hard spook. Ha, that ad just writes itself!  My secondary concern is that I would get a buyer because he is cute, athletic, jumps with snappy knees, etc, and he would end up in a very bad situation.  
5. So unless someone randomly comes along that really wants him and that I trust, the boy is stuck with me.  If our jumping doesn't come together or his back gets worse, we can just take up trail riding or he can retire and be a horse.  If something catastrophic did happen with my finances, hopefully all this training would make it possible to lease him out until I recovered. 

Some really cool forests to hike through

So that helped us map out the next few months (we had originally only agreed to 3 months of training so this was a planned talk of sorts).  As hard as I try, I know you can't plan for all possibilities but it makes me feel better to try and think about the things I can.