Sunrise obsessed

 It's no secret that I haven't adapted well to the current government.  By which I mean I hate this all with a fiery passion and beyond the horrors of what is happening to people, I am already in mourning for our planet because we had a small window to act and I fear it's gone.  However, the cats need someone to take care of them so for the time being, I have been trying to find a way to survive the Existential Dread from being a permanent resident in the Pit of Despair

One of my coping mechanisms is running.  But as a thoroughly heat intolerant person, summer has always been tough to keep up the runs.  This past summer I decided to start running before dawn.  Those early alarms HURT but an unexpected bonus was the glory of the predawn light and sunrises.

Talk about a reward for waking up early.

Finding anything to take joy in is a real win at this point and enjoying the beauty of this blue and green rock while it can still support mammalian life seems especially poignant.  Erego, I immediately became obsessed with sunrises.  

It doesn't hurt that my normal running loop is a park near my house with a lake that gets amazing reflections off the water.  

I started taking a photo of the sun from the halfway point of my run, whether that was predawn, at sunrise, or later.  Somewhere along the way, the excitement grew for each of these early runs.  The park was so quiet, I often saw one or more of the resident coyotes - which are absolutely gorgeous, and tons of birds.  

The color gradient and reflection on this day was amazing

Eventually my brain was like....hey sunsets around here are good too

But that will probably be another post.

After stopping for a quick photo for months, I realized that some sunrises are worth a longer pause.  Who cares if my heart rate slows, who cares if my run isn't optimized.  News flash, I am a very casual jogger and my runs aren't optimized anyways.  Hit pause on the damn watch and observe the most beautiful colors in the sky you stupid bitch.  And so I did

And since nothing is worth doing without overthinking and planning it, I started looking up sunrise times and structuring my run times to try and optimize the lighting

In summer and fall, the best light seemed to actually be about 20-30 minutes before dawn.  So caculating how long it took me to run to the lake, how long it took me to get dressed and out the door....this all started governing my alarm time so I could try and get the best lighting.

Look I am my own worst overthinking enemy often enough, but in this case, it paid off.

5:57am

6:01am  It changes FAST

Like any obsession, there are pitfalls.  I started to fear missing a good sunrise.  I would actually be in a bad mood if the sunrise was just "normal" and not spectacular.  

My brain requires constant fucking supervision and I had to work to reframe it: that there is no bad sunrise, and that i was still out doing the best for myself even with less color and also the reflections, the birds, the planet still functioning for us silly little mammals, it all matters even when the sky isn't fully on fire for me.  

That even if I don't get the perfect photo because I am on a different trail doing a long run,
I still get to see THIS

I started paying attention to the sun moving across the horizon as the weeks passed

I started noticing some of the different species of birds that either live or pass through the park

I started setting an alarm on non-running days so I could drive over and observe the sunrise on those days too

On those mornings, when my schedule allows, I will try and stay for as long as possible, watching the color progression as the light changes

I  have become a much stronger runner too, probably because I almost never skip a run these days

One of the most magical days was when the full moon was setting during sunrise.  I think I took 100 pictures and kept getting pulled between the sunrise and the moonset.  

the sunrise

moon rays during moon set

still stunning

shit that will change your brain chemistry

The skies have kept me company through trying to figure out perimenopause (lol, progression there is real fucking slow)

Trying to navigate several other nebulous health issues that seem impossible to conquer

Dealing with work, depression, life.....

And this long warm dry early winter that scares me

Escapism into books and fantasy worlds is still a great coping mechanism for me

And I always knew I was desperately in love with the mountains

But I have now learned I also madly, deeply, truly love the skies too

Everything feels so ephemeral lately.  

And like the harder you try to hold on, the more it all slips away

But I guess I can always rely on the sun coming up each morning

Even humans can't ruin that

Mountain Therapy

 I wasn't sure if I wanted to run or hike.  Running is over faster, leaving more time to do nothing.  Nothing is something I require an exceptional amount of these days.  Quietly hanging with the cats, on my couch, reading, in the silence.  However, mountain therapy is also required to keep the chaos in my brain down and it had been too long since I had hiked.   

An inversion from a hike last summer

When the alarm went off, I was tightly snuggled up between Lando and Nova and almost considered taking an extra rest day and just staying cocooned between 2/3 of my heart.  But Lando quickly noticed I was awake jumped up because he couldn't risk delaying breakfast.  I got up as well, and decided a hike would be the best use of the morning.  

I really wanted to do South Boulder Peak but my left knee has been chirpy since my 12 mile run last weekend and I figured 3k+ vertical wouldn't be doing it any favors so I headed to an old standby, Mount Galbraith.  I missed sunrise while getting ready but the clouds decided to keep the colors coming

I did decide to at least get some cardio in by pushing pace for the uphill.  I started at Nightbird gulch, a trail I have a love hate relationship with.  The love is for the uphill.  The morning was stunning - there was a light breeze to start, it was in the low 40s, and the sunrise just didn't want to end.

I was theoretically trying to go for a zone 2 heart rate, which I accomplished for about half of the uphill, but even with all the running the fact I haven't been climbing many mountains could be felt.  

The rock hopping felt really good and I could almost feel my brain sink into the place where there is less existential dread.  When I hit the loop I decided to go counter clockwise.  This is the far better direction when there is now, but alas for CO, we are so very dry right now.  It feels like a sturdy sneeze could start a fire.  

I wasn't moving super quickly, but I was definitely dripping sweat by this point.  All of the working out does pay off though, my legs and cardio both felt great.  I accidentally scared this fellow, I wish I could have told him he was safe

Around mile 2.75 my knee started chirping a little bit but it ended quickly and that was all.  I hit the summit trail - I am so happy they finally created a summit trail for this mountain - having only seen a few other humans.  Most of those humans had off leash dogs which is irritating, but at least they were all well behaved.  

The lack of snow is very concerning

Hit the summit at about 73 minutes, no idea if that is faster than usual for me.  How was there still color remaining from that sunrise??  Freaking beautiful

Finishing out the loop was a delight, just a nice stroll down the side of the mountain overlooking Golden, and then it was back to the "stick" part of this lollipop trail.  This is where I start to get rock fatigue.  It's over a mile and a half back to the car and it's mostly a narrow rocky trail with loose sand.  It never bothers me on the way up but I do get very sick on it on the way back to the car.  

Luckily the sky kept me company

I finished up in about 2 hours 15 minutes, 5.3 miles and 1500 vertical total.  

I never regret taking a hike after the fact and my brain chemistry absolutely needed this.  

Finished up with a cream cheese heavy bagel, and I didn't ask for extra cream cheese, this is just how it came.

Luckily this still left plenty of time to relax with the cats and finish up one book.  It was called Wild Reverence by Rebecca Ross and I thought it was solidly mediocre.  I haven't thoroughly enjoyed many  books lately despite reading 2-3 every week.  So I am probably the problem.  It hasn't slowed my consumption though.  Fantasy worlds are so much more alluring than the real one.