Monday, April 13, 2015

When you're on, I swear you're on. You rip my heart right out.

Haven't felt an awful lot like blogging when I have not been in a great space mentally.  When most of the words that come to my mind are obscenities, or worse, whiny, I don't feel like sharing my thoughts is value added.

However, in the vein of a general update: I did go ahead and post a sales ad for Fawkes as well as a giveaway ad on the COTH forums.  I have been contacted by a couple interested parties.  It is very early stages in the process so I am not sure if it will go anywhere, but at least I put it out there.  I still have very mixed feelings on the issue, but sadly the main feeling I got after someone contacted me was relief.  So I guess that is kind of telling.

Rides have been going pretty much the same, consistently inconsistent.  On Friday we had to ride in the indoor and he was being spooky and obnoxious.  My trainer was there, about to head out, and was considering having to get on him.  He wouldn't go into the one corner.  He wasn't going full Fawkes spook style but he would fling his head up and slam on the brakes from the trot.  He spent a solid 20 minutes like that before cooperating some.

Then on Saturday he was a complete angel.  Had a jumping lesson and he was calm, quiet, relaxed and perfect.  I even completely had brain death on one jump and collapsed on his neck.  With Fawkes this is usually a really quick trip to a refusal and one way ticket to the dirt.  For some unknown reason he saved my ass and jumped while rebalancing me.

So mystery horse stays mysterious.  He has been on the magnesium about 2 weeks now.  The last time the chiro vet came he said Fawkes was great and we can start going 8 weeks between sessions, so I am confident his back is good.   At least we are eliminating things and I will know I have tried everything I can.

The worst part of this rut is being demotivated to ride.  It is stunning perfect spring weather out and I don't want to hit the trails.  Of course it is CO so it will also snow at some point this week, but the idea remains.  I need to re-find my riding mojo!


  1. I'm sorry you're having such a hard tIs right now. I can't comprehend how frustrating your situation with Fawkes is right now :(

  2. I am so sorry. I can imagine how hard and confusing this can all be, and I don't envy you. :( Just remember to do what feels right and you'll have no regrets.

  3. Have you had his eyes checked for uveitis? A friend has a mare who is on and off horribly spooky and they just discovered she has uveitis in her right eye. It can flare and recede, so having him examined right after a bad spook day might be helpful.

    1. I don't think he has been specifically checked for uveitis, I will have to ask the vet. He has had several general eye exams since a vision problem has been suspected several times. So far no sign of any eye issues.

  4. I'm sorry :( *hugs* hoping everything gets easier.

  5. Thanks for the support everyone, it is just a sucky situation